October-November is the time of year most schools schedule their parent-teacher conferences. Our district had them last week, so I got to sit in a lot of meetings. In the past, as a self-contained teacher, I used to run the show, but since this year I got a new job as a resource teacher, my role was more subdued. And that was ok! However, it got me thinking that even though I wasn’t the one running the meetings, I was battling the same issues.
1. TIME
I don’t know about you, but I always felt like I had so much information I needed to convey in those conferences and so little time! Even if you are not the main teacher, you still have a lot of information you want to share with the parents, and when those 20-30 minutes are split between you and the regular education teacher, things are even worse. In order to avoid rushing through everything and risking to forget important information about the students, I like to prepare my notes ahead of time. I have a conference form that I use for each and every student. I fill out the student’s strengths and I discuss this part with the parents as I always like to begin on a positive note. This part applies to all teachers whether they are general education or various types of special education teachers. Beginning with the positive always aspects helps to create a warm atmosphere. All parents love to hear great things about their child and are more inclined to cooperate and support an educator that sees the good in their child!
On the same note, I bring up the areas for improvement. I always make sure that I provide a copy for the parents so they can follow along as I talk. Also, I have some space at the bottom for parents to take notes. You may find that some parents take advantage of that space and jot down ideas as you move along, but some don’t. Don’t think that they don’t care if they don’t take notes! Providing a copy for them to revisit at their own leisure is enough. After talking about the student’s progress, I like to inform parents about my next steps in their child’s instruction.
Depending on what you are seeing their child for, you may need to talk to the parents about ELA goals, Math, behavior and social-emotional skills or all of the above. Having a comprehensive form in front of you keeps you focused and helps the parents understand what you are talking about. Don’t assume that all parents know their children’s IEP goals, have thoroughly read your progress report, and therefor know exactly what you are going to focus on moving forward. Even if they did, you are the expert. Present this form, explain things clearly, in simple terms, and avoid the acronyms of our profession!
At the bottom of this second page, I have two questions I like to ask the parents during a conference: How can I help with your child? and What can I do to support you at home? You may find the first question a bit redundant. After all, aren’t we helping a lot already by teaching the kids? Well, yes, but, besides access to knowledge and information, there is so much more that a child needs! I am teaching in a wealthy district now, and the needs are not as evident. However, I’ve worked with all kinds of families before, from extremely rich to extremely poor, homeless families. So asking that question shows that I care and I am willing to go the extra mile, beyond my horseshoe table.
2. MATERIALS
My second question, What can I do to support you at home?, brings me to my next topic. As a parent myself, I often sit on the other side of the table too. When I am given a lot of sheets of paper stapled together and I am told that those contain a lot of great ideas of how I can help my child at home, all I can think of is the big pile of papers, bank statements, and unopened bills that are piling up on my kitchen counter waiting for me to find a quiet moment, usually before their due date, to sort them, and properly address each one of them. Chances are my newly acquired set of papers will eventually end up at the bottom of that pile, not because I am a bad mom who doesn’t care about helping her kids at home, but because when you don’t want to end up paying late fees, everything else gets put on the back burner.
So as I ask the parents about how I can support them at home, I like to hand them a set of ready-to-use materials that they will not throw at the bottom of that pile as they get home, but actually be able to use with their child immediately. Now I get it that it is pretty hard to do that as a regular education teacher when you have 20+ students in your class, but, hey, I am a special education teacher, and my roster is much smaller. The look in the parents’ eyes when they realize I took time to create instructional materials for their child and they can take those home with them at the end of the conference is priceless. I believe that precisely THAT is the moment when parents truly understand you care about them and their child. Everything else until then is just formal, official, polite talk. You should try it sometime soon! It is a pretty amazing feeling on both sides of the table.
The game above is an excerpt from a packet I created for one of my Kindergarten students who struggles with numeral identification and matching numbers to quantities. You can grab the entire folder game HERE. However, there are a lot of free products on TPT that you can download and prepare for your families. A packet of just information and ideas is great, in theory, but it is not going to help. Parents are parents, not educators. Even when they have the best intentions, they don’t necessarily know how to or have the means to create meaningful, quality instructional materials!
3. HONESTY
I always have anecdotal notes I write down for my eyes only, along with other important points I want to make during the meeting. This last page in my parent-teacher conference notes packet is just for myself. I do not make copies for the parents. This is where I write that very important piece of information that I absolutely need to convey during the meeting. I believe it is our responsibility to give parents or guardians an accurate assessment of their children’s academic, social, and or emotional progress. However, sometimes that means delivering bad news. While I am not for blunt talk, I also hate sugar-coating the facts. I will never sit in a meeting telling a parent that everything will be fine, because it might not be. However, I will tell them that I will do everything in my power to help their child succeed, while presenting the facts as they are. Sugar-coating things defeats the purpose of the conference. Use this space to record those uncomfortable pieces of information that a parent must hear from you and be prepared to be the bearer of bad news.
As I conclude the meeting, I always keep in mind that parents might feel just as overwhelmed as I am, and might need some time to process every bit of information they received. I always offer to answer any additional questions that didn’t surface during the meeting via email in the days following the conferences as well as to provide additional support at home.
If you are gearing up for your fall conferences, you can grab my free conference notes HERE!
HAPPY FALL AND HAPPY CONFERENCING!
